I just remembered that it’s the We The King’s concert tomorrow. I won’t even be able to live out my crazy plan to stay outside Hard Rock Cafe and just sit out to wait on the slim chance that a band member comes out or stop some lucky stranger with tickets and bully him/her into buying some merch for us. I say “us” because I’m obviously dragging someone with me, heck I can’t do those alone. But I’ve always been a planner, rarely having the chance or mood to take action. This time my mom won’t let me come with them to Makati and so I’m stuck here at Paranaque, dreaming of Travis Clark. She threatened to pinch me when I asked for the nth time. And to think I told myself I’m beyond that concert, that I’ve already seen them and once is enough. I’m not, I swear I’m not but I can’t do anything but promise myself future concerts. Like I always do.

I’m on a Katy Perry streak, come join meee.

Reblog.Reblog.Reblog. Myself!

Seriously I’ve lost track of the date. It can’t be eight days to college already, I’m anything but ready. Not to mention my dad said he applied me for reconsideration to UPM and if I pass it’ll be an automatic transfer. What the actual fuck. If he told me this four months ago I wouldn’t be as horrified as I am now, because four months ago I was still in that little childhood dream of being an “iskolar ng bayan”. I’ve been to UST, the school I’m officially enrolled in, for about ten times now preparing and adjusting myself with the single thought that it shall be my alma mater. I got my “black shoes with konting heels para maganda tingnan”, quoted from the orientation, as well as the required chemise and stockings yesterday for God’s sake I wanted to chuck the brown things into a fire but it was mandatory.

But no matter, those are easily remedied. The knowledge that I might transfer only became such a big blow because I’ve become attached to UST. Aside from taking on the Thomasian pride, I’ve gotten to know my blockmates in Facebook and I can’t imagine meeting a whole different set (not to mention kind) of people by the end of summer. I know the tuition fee is so much lower, I know the place is easier to access, and I know the school’s my dad’s client. But I’ve fallen in love with UST, and forcing me into UPM would just crush me. I have the dreaded results to wait, but will I even bother fighting when I should be happy I’m even going to step foot in college?

What the heck am I doing reblogging myself? That sounds sad.

I guess I should force myself to shut down as mercy to my future self three hours later. Here’s an awesome Katy Perry track, with lyrics that makes you count which you’re doing.

• Still can’t sleep. Okay scratch that, I just can’t get my butt off the chair and fly back under the covers for some two or three hours of additional rest. 
• Changed my theme again and I’m thinking of going with the all-white look for a while. 
• But I really miss my black back ground.
• While searching for something decent to make as an avatar, I stumbled upon some ancient photos. You have no idea how different I looked, and how… innocent. It’s weird describing myself that way when some photos are dated back to only four years ago but looking into them makes me see how unaware I was of what’s to come. 
• Oh, and my grammar sucked big time. Those little comments under the photos? Embarrassing. I might just delve in some other time and edit edit edit.

Traveling for more than an hour without a car drives me insane.

I agreed to accompany my grandma to Quiapo for some church and shopping time. I expected something a little like Divisoria, where it’s decent once you get to the malls, but of course that’s not what it was like (which I only learned today). The travel itself was tiring and upon arriving at the church I found vendors, not church goers. But eventually I did find them all squashed in the confines of the magnificent church, where my dearest grandmother insisted we troop in and scout our way to imaginary vacant seats. Usually I try to enjoy myself, but my breakfast didn’t agree with my optimism. I was ready to bolt out and steal a little fresh air, but the greatest thing happened: the ladies sitting beside us stood up and told us they were leaving, seats now ours. First Nazarene miracle? I’d like to think so. In other news, I got to see China Town too. I bought myself a cool can of Coke Zero which I had about three sips of before some stranger reached out and tried to grab it. On impulse I raised it away from the creep, but my grandma made me give it to him.

After that I realized that this mindset to automatically move away from beggars and pushy vendors creates a void in us. When I could have just bought a new drink, when I could have at least said a polite “no”, when I could have made them feel like they mattered. 

Great, it was bad enough thinking about today’s sores and bruises now I feel worse for being like everyone else and realizing too late. 

And yet another sleepless night where I end up creeping from the bed to type aimlessly on tumblr where I’d end up going back to bed at the first hint of light with no care whatsoever that I have to be up at 8. Well, I did sleep earlier and I guess my body decided it was only a power nap and woke me up before midnight with regenerated everything. Now I’m here because I can’t stand another hour of tossing and turning in my blanket with every single thing I could possibly think of popping up just to irk me. 

Besides, I went to Quiapo (for the first time!) and I’d hate writing about it at any time than now. It was, after all, an experience worth remembering and forgetting at the same time.                     

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